Sign over a Gynecologist's Office
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
In a Podiatrist's office
"Time wounds all heels."

On another Septic Tank Truck
"We're #1 in the #2 business"

At a Proctologist's door
"To expedite your visit please back in."
On a Plumber's truck
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On another Plumber's truck
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
On a Church's Billboard
"7 days without God makes one weak."
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
At a Towing company
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an Electrician's truck
"Let us remove your shorts."
In a Nonsmoking Area
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire
and take appropriate action."
On a Maternity Room door
"Push. Push. Push."
At an Optometrist's Office
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window
"We really know our stuff."
On a Fence
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
In a Restaurant window
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a Propane Filling Station
"Thank heaven for little grills."
And the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."